Do you ever think about doing something and then realize you don’t always have a reason for doing it? Recently, that thought has come into my mind, and I’ve been looking for my reasons for my actions.
I have a lot of things I want to say that may not seem completely related. Just bear with me. I promise I will do what I can to tie it all together.
- About a week ago, I considered posting a rant/complaint on Facebook.(I can’t even remember what it was anymore). I have already posted a whole post on why I don’t post on social media frequently, so I’m not going to talk about that as much. Long story short, I realized that the only thing complaining would do would either stoke my ego or tear me down. That’s not worth it to me. So I didn’t post. I don’t want you to think that I’m calling you out if you are the kind of person to post about those kinds of things. For me, the reason I was gonna post was not a strong enough reason for me to do it.
- The same goes for selfies. Like I’ve mentioned a thousand times, I am making a lot of physical progress from exercise and better eating, and I’m proud of my body. I take my share of selfies. But you don’t see the majority of them. Why? Because I don’t want to fall back in that trap. The trap of number of likes on a selfie is a deadly one that I have spent too much time crawling out of. I used to be the kind of person where everyone’s opinion of me mattered. If someone didn’t like me, I had to know why so I could try to “fix” myself to be liked. But I’ve grown and matured, and don’t care about that as much. I still catch myself slipping into that hole, but I don’t fall as far as I used to. So I don’t really post selfies to avoid that kind of temptation altogether.
- When I first started college, I did not like taking classes without someone I knew. But, I did not really know anyone in one of my concentrations, so I was kind of forced to take those alone. It’s cool to see how much I have grown and matured. I had a couple friends who were talking about taking a class I’m looking into, which was great! Then I got a text that they had decided on a different class. And you know what? I wasn’t even mad.
- Some of you may already know this, and some of you may not. But, recently I have added a second major. Along with Social Studies Education, I am also majoring in History. It’s a lot but it’s nothing I can’t handle.
- A couple of weekends ago, I had the opportunity to go to an education conference. I had an amazing time and I learned a lot. Each thing I intended was with the purpose of preparing me to be a good teacher and not to flounder in my career once I graduate. But I did not really make a whole lot of friends.
- One thing that was stressed at this conference was that you need to be voting. Listen up, y’all. Election Day is next Tuesday, November 6. If there is something you’re not happy with, vote!!! If there is something you’re happy with, vote!!! I was actually really excited when my absentee ballot came in the mail because I know I’m doing something about my state and my country.
So why did I tell you all these disjointed stories? Because they all have a common theme of finding what my reason was for doing or not doing the action. So what was my reason(s)?
- Rant on social media- I kind of mentioned this earlier, but I would rather not stoke my ego. I can be a pretty prideful person as it is. No offense to anyone, but I already think I’m better than just about everyone else. I’ve gotten better for sure, but I believe humility is understanding there are still things to learn. Best-case scenario of me posting a rant is someone would sympathize and stoke my ego. Worst-case scenario is someone would disagree with me and I would need to find their approval again (see next point).
- Posting selfies- I’ve spent too much on my life focusing on other people’s approval of me. It kind of lessened my approval of me, which realistically is one of the only ones that matters. So I avoid the temptation of falling back into that trap by not usually posting selfies of me. (Snapchat gets them occasionally, but there’s usually a reason associated). I’m working on my own approval. I have my good and bad days, but I am learning to be happy with who I am, not just who I think I should be.
- Taking classes- Honestly, some of my most interesting classes have been with people I do not know. I want to be licensed to teach psychology, but that’s a small percentage of my major. But I’ve taken Psychology of Learning and Psychology of Women without knowing anyone beforehand, and both of those classes were absolutely amazing because I was interested in them. This class I’m looking into for next semester is a Civil War class. If you know me at all, you know that that is my favorite thing in history (my blog name is a Civil War pun!). So I’m excited for this class, even if I may go in without knowing anyone.
- Double majoring- So this one is complicated to explain in a sense. My reason for doing this is honestly because I would not really have to do any extra work. I can get a couple of my Honors classes to do double duty as both Honors and History classes, thus negating extra work. Will having a second major distinguish me from other candidates for the same job position? Probably not, but if I don’t have to do any extra work, I may as well go for it.
- Education conference- I’ve had a few meetings this semester about preparing for my future and life after graduation. I’m not even going to lie; those meetings terrified me. I applied for student teaching earlier this year, and man, I DO NOT feel ready to student teach yet. But this conference helped me feel more prepared. I attended a workshop about hiring tips, another one about surviving as a first-year teacher, a classroom management one, and a discussion about culturally diverse education. But like I said, I did not make a whole lot of friends. Do you want to know why? Because 95% of the attendees were Elementary Education majors. Not that I really have anything against El Ed majors, but in a setting like this, they aren’t really going to help me much. Contrary to popular belief, it’s hard to relate teaching 2nd graders to teaching 12th graders. Making friends was not the primary goal for my attendance. I got what I wanted out of the conference, and it helped me. I do not feel like I missed out on anything.
- Voting- I don’t care what political party you support (or if you support any). If you are old enough, there is always a reason to vote. Your voice matters. If you don’t feel represented, you have the power to change that. Like I said, that education conference really pushed voting. Some of the positions you get to vote for deal directly with schools and education. As a future teacher, that is so important! The American education system needs to be improved. The only way to do this is to vote for people who will make those improvements. And that goes for every available position!
(Alright, I’m getting off my soapbox. But seriously, VOTE!!!) So in conclusion, what’s your reason for what you do? It could be something as simple as what you decide to eat, or it could be something as complex as deciding what you want to do for the rest of your life. I encourage and challenge you to find the reasons for your actions. It’s okay if sometimes your reasons are selfish (like taking a class you would enjoy even if it means not knowing anyone in that class). I hope you don’t think I’m calling you out or that this post was directed at anyone in particular. If anything, it’s directed at me. I do stupid stuff sometimes, or things that I don’t know my reason. This is a challenge to me as much as it is to you. So I hope you join me in finding your reasons for actions. Who knows, you may end up learning a lot about yourself!