Presidential Jokes

I love doing things for obscure holidays! Tomorrow, August 11, is Presidential Jokes Day! As an avid history buff, I wanted to share the favorite jokes I have found! Even if you’re not from the United States, hopefully you can find these jokes and quotes funny too!

  1. “Being President is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you, and nobody’s listening.” -Bill Clinton
  2. The huge backlog in the doctor’s waiting room was taking its toll. Patients were glancing at their watches and getting restless. Finally one man walked to the receptionist station and tapped on the glass she slid back the window and said, “Sir, you’ll have to wait your turn. ” “I just had a question,” he said dryly, “is George W. Bush still President?”
  3. Where does the President keep his razor? In the Cabinet
  4. Where does Washington keep his armies? In his sleevies!
  5. What kind of tea did the colonists demand? Liberty
  6. Which of Washington’s officers had the best sense of humor? Laughayette
  7. How many senior presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb? None. They’re supposed to keep the President in the dark.
  8. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth U.S. President? Ape Lincoln!
  9. What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance
  10. Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden? He didn’t want any bushes at the White House.
  11. President Joe Biden visited a senior home. After his speech, he was shaking hands with the residents. He asked an older woman, “Do you know who I am?” She replied, “No, but there’s a nice lady at the front desk who can tell you!”
  12. Today I learned that Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy were the most open-minded Presidents. I was quite shocked by this, and it blew my mind.
  13. Who was the most dangerous President? Ronald Ray-gun.
  14. What do you say to the President of the United States when he leaves abruptly? Okay, Biden.
  15. They say you can predict the next President based off bumper stickers. According to my research, the President should have been that one honors student.
  16. What’s the nightmare of a President that’s allergic to fruit? Impeachment
  17. Have you heard an ex Vice President is releasing a computer generated reggae album? It’s called AL Gore Rhythms
  18. President Joe Biden is told he needs to assemble a cabinet. Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he’s greatly misunderstood the task.
  19. Sometimes I feel like the first President while doing laundry because I am washing-a-ton
  20. What does the President call his favorite appetizers? Executive hors d’oeuvres.
  21. One of the Secret Service agents was tempted by the delicious muffin on the President’s desk. As he slowly reached out to take a bite, another agent stopped him and said, “It’s For-Biden”
  22. Why did the dime run for President? Because people kept saying they wanted to vote for change.
  23. This is the first time a US President is named Joe. Goes to show, it’s still not true that any average Joe can become President.

Hope you enjoyed my Presidential jokes!

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