My older sister got married over a week ago! (That’s why there was no post last week). I was so fortunate to be able to be right by her side as her maid of honor. The wedding itself is more her story, so I want to offer my perspective and some advice for someone who may find themselves in similar situations.

My family and friends have worked out in such a way that I never really had the chance to be in anyone else’s wedding before this. I’m one of the older cousins on both sides of my family (my sister IS the oldest). She was able to be involved in a lot of weddings from my parents’ cousins. But by the time I came around, most of them were married. And they’ve stayed married so there’s been no reason for me to be involved in weddings in the same capacity.

Since it’s just my sister and I, you would think that me being her Maid of Honor would be a guarantee. But I don’t think I’m wrong in saying that that wasn’t the case. We weren’t always close growing up because there’s a decent-sized age gap between us (we’re five years apart). Once I got into middle school, we started getting closer. We actually really got closer when she went away to college, as ironic as that may sound.

Once I entered college, I was talking to my sister more as someone to help navigate the same stuff she had been through. We listened to each other and talked about the classes we were taking or had taken. The year before I graduated high school, my sister applied for and got accepted into medical school. She was still in school even while I was! We were able to talk about the things she was learning while on her rotations. It was during this time that we did our trip to Boston as just the two of us.

I didn’t attend my own classes on her Match Day to find out her residency location. I attended her graduation later that year. I helped move her into her new apartment for residency. I could give more stories and more memories. Even though we may not have started out super close, we’re definitely there now.

I did my best to be as involved with the whole wedding planning process as I needed to be. My sister now lives a couple states away because of her residency, and both my mom and I were able to go down one weekend for dress shopping.

As the Maid of Honor, planning a bridal shower fell a lot on me. With the way my sister and brother-in-law’s families are set up all over the place. The groom’s mom planned a shower for her side in a place that was more local for them, and I helped plan the one for our family and our friends. Even though my sister now lives a couple states away, we’ve lived in the same state our entire lives until that point. Many of the people she invited to the wedding still live here (or close to here). We wanted to have a shower for our friends and family too. Obviously that had to come before the wedding in October; but the summer was so busy and there were only a few weekends that worked.

My sister also wanted to do a long weekend on the beach as her bachelorette party. That also fell on me to plan. In addition, I knew I was going to have to give a speech during the wedding. In other words, I had a lot to do!

Fortunately, I don’t work in the summer because I teach. I took a day to sit down and plan everything that I needed to do for my wedding responsibilities. The speech was easy and I did that first. I looked up Maid of Honor speech templates on Pinterest, found one I liked, and put it into practice. I pulled out a story to make people laugh without being too emotional. I talked about the good points about my sister, discussed how they interacted together, and what their relationship means to me.

That part done, I took some time to research some fun games for the shower. My mom had taken care of the venue and the food, so it was on me for decoration and entertainment. I found some cool games for the shower and finalized decoration ideas.

The last thing for me to plan was the bachelorette trip itself. I talked to my sister about things she wanted to do and I also looked up ideas in the place we were going. With her communication and with the stuff I looked up myself, we had a pretty good list of things to do while down there.

The trip went really well, and we got to do a lot of things without it being too overwhelming. We also made sure we had time to relax and enjoy the sun, sand, and the waves.

Then, I had a month until the wedding. The month went by pretty quickly, until finally it was time. We went down and had the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Everything went smoothly. The wedding itself was long but good. There were no large issues. I handled one small issue, my family handled another, and the third was easily taken of. My speech went well, and I really was able to enjoy myself and the day.

Overall, I’d say that my experience as a Maid of Honor was a positive one. If, however, you find yourself in a similar position, here are a few pieces of advice for you:

• Communicate- I spent so much time talking to my sister and other people through the whole process. Being open, honest, and communicating really helped things go smoothly.
• Be prepared to take over- I knew that for the wedding day, my job was to make sure my sister was okay. My sister wanted to handle a small issue, but I told her to leave it to me. It was the issue I checked on and made sure went smoothly. I knew that I was also one of the de facto hosts of the wedding, and I made sure I stopped by everyone I knew during the reception to either greet them or to have a conversation with them.
• Help the bride where she needs it- Wedding dresses are usually so big that the bride can’t go to the bathroom alone. Sometimes the bride and groom don’t have time to eat during the reception. Maybe there’s a fashion emergency or something goes missing. While some of these scenarios happened, others didn’t. I was prepared to help wherever I was needed. I actually helped my sister remove her veil so she could dance and have fun during the reception.
• Don’t stress yourself out too hard- The day is going to happen as it will or won’t. There’s no point in freaking out and panicking about things. Keep a cool head, let things flow, and…
• Enjoy the moment- Hopefully this isn’t something you do all the time. I had a great time at my sister’s wedding, and I made sure I actually got to enjoy the day. I got to stand right next to her while she married the man she loves (even as our bouquets were shedding flowers all over me). I got to tell everyone how much I love and am inspired by my sister. I danced with family friends, the bride, and the groom! It was a great day and a fun time. An American wedding is a party, and you need to treat it like such!

I am so thankful the wedding day came and the stress is off my back. I loved doing it though, and I hope I can help you through the process if this is something you encounter!