I apologize for not writing recently. My life has been upended, and there’s a lot that I’m figuring out. I want to get back to a more consistent place where I can post each week.

However, this does not mean that I have been idle. I’ve had so many thoughts in my head that I haven’t had a chance to write them down. There’s a lot going on, and a lot stored in my brain.

One of the biggest thoughts and actions I have had in my brain for a while has been the idea of intention. I have spent a lot of time learning how to be intentional with both my words and my actions. I don’t say or do things unless I really mean them. I am not impulsive. I think through a decision and possible outcomes before I take action. And once I do take that action, I follow through and accept whatever consequences may come.

I also believe that intention is important even before the action takes place. Intention is the direction your compass is pointing before you even take the first step. If your intention is to cause harm, then any action you take is a harmful action.

Intention also influences action. I recently had someone close to me cause me harm. It may not have been physical harm, but that does not mean that there is no pain. While I may never know the reason for this pain, I know that there was intention before there were any actions involved. As a result of this person’s actions, my life is now on a completely different trajectory than it was two months ago. Although I could have stooped to this person’s level and caused them pain equivalent to what they caused me, I looked at my own intentions to determine my next actions. I chose an intention of healing, and the actions I did were more focused on me than on them.

I had a shirt when I was in cheerleading that said “Attitude determines altitude.” I’m not sure if I have that shirt anymore, but I think about it often. My favorite part of being a cheerleader was being involved in stunts where we would throw people into the air. If you weren’t in the right mindset before you got onto the mat, then the stunt was not going to go well. I have found that to be true in martial arts as well. The days when something is off with me are often the days when something goes wrong on the mat. I believe that is because of my intention. If I go in with the right intention and the right attitude, then the outcome is better.

I also practice intention when it comes to martial arts. Each aspect of martial arts that I learn has a different purpose. I learn forms to practice. Forms are memorized patterns of fight moves. While there may not be an actual opponent, it helps me to learn and understand what my body is doing or should be doing in an actual conflict. Sparring helps me to see openings and build up my reflexes. We do not use full power in sparring because that is not the point. It’s basically just high-speed tag. Self-defense is preparation for real scenarios. Hopefully, I never have to use what I learn in a real scenario, but my brain is better prepared because I practice. Finally, I use power and execution in board breaking. It is the culmination of everything I learn in a practical way that does not (usually) cause harm to other people. All of the aspects help with my own intention.

I am trying to get back to a place of regulation. I know I have missed a lot recently in terms of my blog. I have to navigate a whole new reality that I never thought would be my life. There has been a lot upended and changed in September. Now I need to re-set my intentions so that I can get to a better trajectory. I still have big dreams and plans. I just need to make my intentions line up with my dreams. Once I do that, then the actions will follow. The actions are the easy part, in my opinion. I intend to get back to a headspace where I can write regularly again. I definitely still have a lot to say. This blog isn’t going anywhere.