I wrote a post in October 2017 called “Healing” about letting things go (read it here). It is so amazing to me how things come back around! In that post, I talked about a cut I had gotten on my finger and how I let it heal so there was only a faint scar.Well, I’ve done it again. I was finishing up cooking dinner on Sunday night and I sliced my finger with a knife. It’s the same finger that I cut in October. As I look at that old scar directly underneath the bandage of the new cut, I am reminded of that time all over again.
I said it in October, and I’ll say it again. Wounds heal best when they’re allowed to heal. Trying to do my normal routine with an injured finger was difficult. I had a hard time turning the key to get into my apartment, and the cut is not even on my dominant hand!
It’s been an adjustment the past couple of days trying to get everything done with my finger bandaged. But that does not mean it has stopped me. Just because my finger is injured doesn’t mean I cannot go to class or even get out of bed because of the fear it might get worse. I hit my finger on Monday morning right where it was cut, and I was in pain for a good while. But it wasn’t “Oh I’m hurt so I can’t do anything for my day.”
This is the case with life as well. I tend to worry a lot and think about everything. Honestly, that ends up hurting me more than helping me. The longer I think and worry about something, the deeper it goes in my head. I think too much, and it causes me problems. But my finger is a good reminder of my mind. I’ve been thinking and processing about things and it is causing me more pain than is worth. So, like with my finger, I’m letting go. I know the situations in my head will heal if I leave them alone, in the same way that my finger will heal when left alone. If I pick apart the things I think about, then it will continue to fester and only get worse. But if I let them go, they will heal the way they’re supposed to.
A huge belief of mine is that everything happens for a reason. It’s easy to tell people that, but sometimes it can be harder to actually live that. I don’t know why things happen the way they do, and sometimes I don’t know until years down the road when it manifests itself in a new way. But I choose to believe, regardless of whether I know the reason or not, that everything does happen for a reason. So that’s why I’m letting go. The reason may be unknown, but the purpose is not. Everything I go through– physical, mental, emotional, what have you– makes me better and stronger.
One of my best friend’s dad passed away on her birthday this past year. Another was in an emotionally manipulative and abusive relationship for three years. I could go on and on. These are just the ones I talked about this past week. I don’t know why they went through those things. But let me tell you something. Hearing my friend talk about her grief group with so much hope in her voice about how things could work out for her in ways she hadn’t imagined in the face of losing her father was one of the best phone calls I have ever received. Listening to my other friend talk about her past relationship and seeing how happy she is now in her current relationship and as a person in general gives me so much joy and delight. Those things are scars on my friends, and that is something they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives. But both of them are letting things work out as they should, and they are so wonderful because of it!
Those two, as well as all my other friends, are an inspiration to me. I love seeing them use their lives and stories to make themselves better. I mentioned a friend last week who was going through a lot and I gave them some tough love. This friend and I are very similar, and I know how to get through to them. When we were talking and they needed my advice with something, it was very similar to something I had gone through. I had the realization that maybe the reason I went through my circumstance was to help my friend with theirs.
I don’t want to end this on a bad note. I assure you I’m okay, and I’m writing this blog post for myself as much (if not more than) for you. I need to work on letting go of things and letting them work out how they will. Scars are okay. I need to let go of my worries and not make things worse. That’s something I want to work on this year, and I plan to. I know everything happens for a reason, and I’ll be okay even if I never know the reason!