Relationships, especially romantic relationships, can be good or bad. It might be scary getting into a relationship, and things may not turn out the way you expect.

Since we’re in the middle of a lot of marriage season, and I know a lot of people like to get into at least summer romances, I thought I would share my favorite relationship advice that I’ve come across. In my opinion, this is what any romantic relationship should be based on, and it’s amazing how many people can forget this.

Alright, are you ready for it? Here is my favorite relationship advice: If you weren’t in a relationship with this person, would you enjoy being around them?

Why is that my favorite? Well, at the end of the day, your partner is the person you spend the most time with. I’d rather spend that time with someone I like as opposed to someone I don’t.

The cool thing about a romantic relationship is that it’s a built-in buddy system. If you were in school and had to choose a buddy for a field trip, you wouldn’t choose someone you hated. You would choose someone you like to be around. The same is true for your partner. When choosing a partner, it’s so important to be around someone you actually like.

Again, most people intend to be together for life. Your partner is going to be the person you spend the most time with, and they’re probably going to know you the best too.

When you actually like the person you’re with, there are many things that happen. First, you can have more fun adventures because you both like exploring each other’s interests. I’ve done a number of fun things as dates that aren’t necessarily “romantic”. Romantic dates are nice, but not every date has to be a candlelit dinner or a walk at sunset.

Second, when you’re with someone you like, they push you to be better. A good platonic best friend wants you to be your best. There should be no difference with a good partner. If you enjoy being with them, you should want to be better for yourself and for them.

A third thing I’ve seen is that arguments should be less frequent. Sometimes in relationships, people can try to “keep score” in relationship arguments. By that, I mean that if one partner makes a sore jab at the other, then the other has a “right” to say or do something as equally as hurtful back. Most people don’t do that in platonic relationships, so I don’t really know why it’s okay to do that in romantic relationships. Conflicts can happen in any relationship, but it’s important to work through them and do better without making them worse.

With as much time as you spend with your partner, they should be one of your best friends. They shouldn’t be your ONLY friend, but you should be able to tell them most things and confide in them. If your partner is only your partner and not your friend as well, then there are red flags that you need to address. I’ve been fortunate that the relationships I’ve been in are with people that I enjoy being around. If you don’t enjoy them, I feel like it’s just attraction. Attraction is important, yes, but enjoying your partner allows for a deeper connection.

So whether you’re looking for a relationship or are already in one, ask yourself if you would like them even if you weren’t in a relationship with them. If the answer is yes, then great! Continue on! If the answer is no, then that leads to further introspection. What don’t you like about them? Are they small quirks that annoy you or big personality issues? Hopefully you can figure out where to go from there.