Decisions, Decisions

It has been an interesting week. Nothing bad happened, but a lot of things has come up that require a lot of decisions on my part. Some were good, and some were hard. But either way, I want to talk about them.

One of the first and biggest decisions I had to make had to do with scheduling classes. If you don’t already know, I have to take classes this summer simply to graduate on time. I have been working on which classes I should take this summer so that I know what to take in the fall. I obviously don’t want to take repeat classes.

I have two history and two Honors courses left to take, and other stuff too. I got it worked out so I only have to take two classes over the summer. But I cannot get it down anymore than that. In looking at my classes I still have left, I knew it was going to be some combination of Honors and history, but I had to work it out. To decide what I want to take in the summer, I have to know what I’m taking in the fall. I am an education major, and I have to take a practicum next semester. The options for my practicum are in the most popular times for my other classes as well. I had a lot of decisions to make about my classes. I got it worked out to just having one class left that I had to decide where to put it. I did not really like some of the options for this class in the fall, and the ones I was okay with were in times of my practicum. Fortunately, the professor that I am a current assistant for is teaching this class this fall. She originally told me a time that would actually have worked for me to fit into my schedule. I was really excited because everything was going to work out. Well, the Honors College released the schedule, and the class with this professor was at a different time than what she said. This time was in the time I was looking at for my practicum.

So I was left with a decision. Rearrange my entire schedule to fit this class in, or find a new class to take. I decided to just take a different class because to me, my history classes are more important than my Honors classes. I would rather take the history class that I think would benefit me in the long run than the Honors class that I think is interesting. So that was a decision I had to make this week.

Another big one happened over the weekend. I had a good day. I went out shopping (spent way too much money), went grocery shopping, and took a friend to work. After I got back and put my groceries away, I realized I didn’t want anything at my apartment to eat for dinner. So I went to Fazoli’s and ate there. Let me tell you something about this. I spent my whole day alone, with the exception of taking my friend to work. No one said anything or even batted an eye. But at dinner, it was a different story. While I was there, I saw eyes on me and heard at least one comment made about me eating alone (not to my face). I don’t have any issue going out to eat alone. It gave me time to get caught up on social media and spend some time in my thoughts. When I got up, I took my purse and my phone with me. I’m always pretty hypervigilant anyway, but that is heightened when I’m alone in public. That being said, eating out alone in public was my decision. I could have easily gotten my food to go and have eaten it at my apartment. I made the decision to eat in public by myself. I wasn’t waiting for anyone else. No one stood me up, and it was a part of what made my day good.

We all make decisions every single day, whether you realize it or not. There’s big decisions like what classes you need to take, and small decisions like eating alone in public. All decisions have consequences and results. My classes might be different for the summer and fall. I may not have heard that comment about me if I hadn’t eaten alone. But decisions are not always good vs. bad or some other dichotomy. None of the decisions I made this week were necessarily bad and wouldn’t have had bad consequences. But they were decisions that I had to make and then stand by them.

Sometimes decisions work, and sometimes they don’t. That’s life. I have made my share of decisions that have turned out really poorly. But I have also made decisions that have turned out really well. All of my decisions have one thing in common: I stand by them. I’ve got one more story for you and then I’ll make my full point.

For the past about two to three weeks, the shower drain in my apartment has been running really slowly. After a twenty minute shower, I’m in standing water up to my ankles. That’s not normal. I was tired of dealing with it, but I’m such an independent person that I didn’t want to call anyone until I had exhausted my options. At the grocery store on Saturday, I bought a pretty powerful drain unclogging liquid. I followed the directions on the bottle, poured half of it down the drain, and let it sit overnight. At first, not even all that liquid drained. But by the time I got up on Sunday, there was no liquid in the tub. I flushed the tub with hot water like I was supposed to. Guess what? It drained! I sent a video to my roommate of it draining, and she asked how I fixed it.

If it hadn’t worked, I probably would not have said anything to my roommate about it. She didn’t ask me to fix it. It was a decision I made on my own because something wasn’t right. But the decision was mine. Like I mentioned last week about you having your own accomplishments, you have your own decisions too. I don’t know what you face. I can’t pretend to have all the answers. But I do know this: take the time you need to make decisions, but then stand by them. Accept responsibility for the things you do, regardless of how they turn out. Celebrate the good, learn from the bad, and let everything else run its course.

I still hear the comment that was said about me in Fazoli’s. I’m guessing a kid asked why I was eating alone and the parent said “She has nobody to play with.” At Fazoli’s, you order at the counter and take a seat. The people will bring the food out to you. So it was clearly intentional that I was alone. I’m not a parent, and I’m not questioning whether or not that person who made the comment about me is a good parent or not. But that was her decision to say that about me. I have a lot of friends who are there for me when I need them and even when I don’t. I know that I am loved and cared about. But I don’t need to be around my friends all of the time. If I was in the reverse position where my child would ask why someone else is eating alone, I would say something along the lines of, “Well, maybe they don’t want to be around people right now.” Her comment didn’t hurt me or affect me, but I think she made a poor decision in her word choice. But that’s something she has to live with, in the same way that that comment was directed to me because I chose to eat alone in public.

So make your decisions. But regardless of the outcome, stand by them. Now, I’m not advocating for racism, sexism, supremacy, or anything else that lords you over another person. That’s not cool. It’s 2019, we should all be equal; unfortunately, I know that’s not the case. It’s not okay if you accept any of those things; however, it is okay if you have seen the error of your ways and have actively changed. But any decisions that don’t jeopardize anyone else’s life? Yes, always stand by them. Things may not work out, but you never know until you try. So take your time, make your decisions, and accept the results!

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