I don’t know about you, but I would not be where I am without the support of the people within my circle. My friends and family provide me so much support. They lift me up in the bad times and keep me sustained in the good times.
My brain likes to lie to me. It tells me I’m all alone and that people don’t want to be around me. Somedays it’s easier to buy into that lie. I do my best to fight it, but it doesn’t always work.
But here lately, I’ve really been having the support of a lot of people around me. My family, friends, and even my partner are demonstrating their love for me. There’s a lot going on, and I’m nearing the end of my intense scheduled time I’ve talked about before on here. But through all of the stress, I find that I am surrounded by people on every side. I am not alone. I have people who care and people who want to stand by me as I move through all of the things within my life.
As I look back through my life (because I’m so old), I’m really seeing the people who have stood by me. And I’m so thankful. I have something very important to me this weekend, and the number of people who will be there to support me continually blows my mind. I’m very thankful for the people in my life. I can’t overstate their importance.
We don’t go through this life alone. There are 8 billion people on this planet. We rely on the knowledge of people who came before us, and we build our own circles of support. It’s up to you to find people who you care about and also who care about you. And everyone’s circle looks different. Who I get along and agree with may be people you can’t stand. And that’s fine!
I cannot stress enough just how important good people are. I make that distinction for a reason. People who tear you down aren’t the kinds of people you should associate with yourself. You need people who support you. But they shouldn’t support you blindly. Sometimes ideas are outrageous, and that’s especially when you need good people who will tell you just that. For example, my partner has a lot of big dreams, goals, and ideas. I support his dreams, but by breaking them down into bite-sized pieces. We work to achieve those dreams realistically. I don’t immediately shoot down the ideas, and I also don’t throw blind faith and hope something sticks. And I treat all of the people around me that way. If there’s a way to make it work (and there usually is), then find a way to approach it in a way that both makes sense and works.
Similarly, people give me the same support when I am in need. It’s a two-way street. That’s why I say it’s so worthwhile to have a good circle. You’re not giving all of yourself. You get stuff back too.
Let me finish by giving a couple good tips on both how to find people good for you and how to be good to those around you.
- Tip #1- Don’t talk about people behind their backs and don’t be around those that talk about other people to you. You’re not a good friend if you lift someone up to their face only to tear them down behind their back. It’s also not good if you or people you associate with talk about people when they can’t have a way to defend themselves.
- Tip #2- Don’t make someone the butt of a group joke more than once. Listen, we all mess up, and as long as it’s done with love and acceptance, it’s okay to joke about someone’s mistake. Recently, I found myself on the fringes of a potential new group. Someone in the group was made the butt of the same joke every time a new person would walk in. It both made me look down on the person saying it, and the people who laughed. It might have been funny the first time, but that shouldn’t be the only story you tell when you mention someone, especially someone in the room. I’m not perfect. But that really left a sour taste in my mouth.
- Tip #3- Try to find ways to realistically support people. If they ask for it, help them find ways to reach that goal. Let’s say you have a friend that wants to buy a boat. They come to you and ask for help. You don’t have to buy the boat for them, but maybe you can help them set a realistic budget. And that’s just one example.
- Tip #4- Watch your language. Sometimes how it comes across can be just as important as the support itself. If you immediately tear down someone for having an idea (even if it’s ridiculous), it looks worse on you than on them in my opinion. Find a way to be able to get them to think about it rather than just shoot it down. I personally like to ask “Have you thought about (area of concern here)?”
- Tip #5- Listen and Learn. If they can answer your questions from the last tip, then accept it. If they need advice, listen to help troubleshoot if and/or when it’s needed. Be open-minded so that you can learn something new.
We all need good people. The support of others can take us very far in life. I know I’m extremely grateful for those around me. I hope you find your group, and I’ll always be available if you feel you need somebody. You got this!